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Aug 2, 2021

A listener in a hierarchical relationship with her nesting partner asks how to start the conversation about moving to a more egalitarian one.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

2:50 Poly in the news

Folks are getting serious about creating a new poly flag

5:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner: A note to my fellow white people

White people don’t always know what racism is, and saying “I don’t see color” or confuse intentions with outcomes are signs that you don’t understand. Whites should listen to the Black voices around you and read How to be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi to start understanding.

9:35 Contact us

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email and copy

10:00 Topic: Shifting from hierarchy to equality

A listener has a nesting partner, and when they started, they agreed to a hierarchy. Now she has a boyfriend, and she feels forced to make her boyfriend feel like a secondary partner. How does she open up a conversation with her nesting partner about moving to a more egalitarian model?

  • Be brave and bring it up! Ask for what you want. Hear your partner’s needs without taking them personally.
  • Maybe a theoretical And then what? exercise and start doing regular check-ins, if you’re not already.
  • Equal or egalitarian? Equality or fairness? Equal respect, not equal outcomes.
  • Define “hierarchy.” Get specific about new desired behaviors.

21:00 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at  or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

21:05 Feedback

  • Politics corner should be its own podcast, redux
  • Feedback on the Israeli-Palestine conflict from episode 599

21:50 Happy poly moment

Elbereth shares a happy poly moment from Europe.

Thank you!

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.