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May 19, 2021

Mathias' husband vetoed Mathias' feelings for and non-threesome sex with his new partner. Should Mathias end his 13-year relationship or stay but resent his husbands' veto?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

4:30 Poly in the news

Romper published a 4,000-word feature with the arresting title The Nonmonoga-Moms Next Door

7:30 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner

Lusty Guy defines fascism and comments on its consolidation within today’s Republican party.  

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14:00 Topic: My husband vetoed my partner

Mathias and his partner have been together 13 years, married just over three. They’ve had threesomes. Then Mathias met Markus, dated him independently, and fell for him pretty hard. He did bring Markus home for a reportedly amazing threesome followed by breakfast! Mathias kept dating Markus independently, came home later than expected (by 30 min) one night, and the hubbie vetoed both feelings for and independent sex with Markus. They have continued to date and enjoy a romantic friendship, but Mathias wants more, so he proposed polyamory.

  • This is a permission model of relationship, which is putting you in a parent-child dynamic
  • Think of this as a mutual renegotiation of the rules of engagement to provide security for him and honesty for Mathias
  • Those who force the choice lose the choice
  • And then what exercise to deal with insecurity
  • If this does spell the end of your marriage, resist the urge to think of it as a failure; it’s a successful relationship that came to a conclusion.

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27:15 Feedback

Chloe from episode 359 Being out, poly, pregnant, and judged gives us an update.

32:05 Happy poly moment

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