Jun 19, 2017
Minx addresses Bialik's misconceptions about open
0:00 Introduction and host chat
Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com
Lusty Guy’s My Swinging
2:10 Topic: Responding to Mayim Bialik’s video post on open
A few weeks ago, Mayim Bialik made
a video post about how she doesn’t get open relationships.
response video on YouTube and on
Facebook (with 22,000 views already!)
She has quite a few misconceptions! Here are the top six
misconceptions I created a response video to clear up:
- Most primates are monogamous Not true!
of mammals are nonmonogamous. Among the primates, a few
monkeys and one ape, the gibbon, are monogamous. Every other
species is nonmonogamous.
- It’s all about the sex. She says she gets it’s
not all about the sex, but then proceeds to spend six out of seven
minutes talking about the sex. So… who’s making it all about the
- Male sexuality always equals promiscuity, and female
sexuality always equals monogamy and lack of sexual
interest. This isn’t about sexual dimorphism; it’s about
people’s individual orientations. Male sexuality doesn’t equal
promiscuity, and female sexuality doesn’t equal monogamy and a lack
of sexual interest. In fact, did you know that, when approaching
poly from the point of view of a couple, it’s usually the woman’s
idea to open up?
- If a lifestyle wouldn’t work for me, it couldn’t
possibly work for anyone else. Mayim talks about how
relationships take time and energy, and she couldn’t imagine having
enough focus for another partner in addition to her spouse and
kids. Great! But, just as she chose how many kids she could bring
into her life and love and care for, consenting adults also get to
choose how many partners they can bring into their lives to
- Poly practitioners are at higher risk for
STIs. Wrong! The people at highest risk for STIs are those
who are uneducated about transmission methods, who prefer lying or
cheating to honest communication and who don’t get tested regularly
and share those results with their partners. In fact,
STI rates tend to be lower among polyamorists because we
educate and communicate without shame about STIs.
- People only practice polyamory because they are unhappy
in their existing relationships. Wrong again! Well, OK.
Sometimes this does happen. But most people practice polyamory,
non-monogamy or relationship anarchy because it’s the truest
expression of themselves. And by the way, not all non-monogamy
starts with a couple. Plenty of people are solo poly.
- A listener calls in to say that she was interrviewed for that
NYT Magazine article and is glad her story wasn’t included with
those who came to poly from cheating
- AggieSez chastises the
journalist for not following journalism 101: not getting direct
quotes from people who were not the married partners. If the whole
premise is that other people are involved but you never interview
or quote those partners, you’re leaving out a huge part of the
story! She’s putting together a media guide for journalists wanting
to cover poly!
14:40 Happy Poly Moment
Free wrote in to share an HPM about helping out a partner’s sick
kid. Parenting happy poly moment for the win!
17:30 How to make this podcast better
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