Dec 29, 2017
Is it OK to use your veto power if your metamour is a drama queen to the point that your needs aren't being met?
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Lusty Guy cohosts, and we talk over how our polycule handled the holidays this year.
Kathy has been dating for a year a guy who started dating X four months ago. Kathy didn’t get along with the metamour X and feels her own needs were not being met by her partner when he was with the metamour. Kathy feels that Guy would shower X with support, and Kathy would do the emotional labor of supporting Guy through events/breakups with X. But when Kathy needed Guy’s emotional support when she lost her grandmother, she says that Guy couldn’t, and she felt it was because he was always supporting X. Guy and X break up, Kathy supports Guy. He wants to get back together with X, and Kathy feels awful that she just can’t bring herself to back this plan and exercises her veto power. She asks:
So besides sharing my story, I have a question: How do you deal in an ethical way with these situations? How can give my partner the time, space and support he needs while my needs to spend quality time with him and to have a relationship conversation aren't being fulfilled?
D responds to the question on episode 486 about having a partner newly identify as a heteroromantic grey asexual.
Scott wrote in to share that he celebrated his 46th birthday by buying himself a ring with his three lovers’ names on it.
Thanks to Heidi for the pi donation and to Nicholas and Eric for joining as PW Playmates!
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